Harriette Cole: My boss follows my social media, and I don’t know what to do

DEAR HARRIETTE My boss of late started following me on social media Related Articles Harriette Cole After my wedding she blasted me as pretentious Harriette Cole I threw myself into planning our parents party and this is what I got Harriette Cole My son won t forgive me for being a mama bear Harriette Cole I m on a new path but my boyfriend wants the old me Harriette Cole He s putting my photos online under his name At first I didn t think much of it but now he comments on nearly everything I post pictures of my dog updates from family events even casual things like a photo of my dinner What started out as a harmless interaction is beginning to feel invasive like my boss has a window into parts of my life I d rather keep separate from work I try to keep my posts light and respectful but I also use social media to connect with friends and share personal opinions that don t have anything to do with my job Knowing that my boss is not only watching but actively chiming in makes me feel self-conscious and even a little judged At the same time I don t want to block or restrict him and pitfall looking unprofessional unfriendly or like I have something to hide I feel caught between wanting to preserve healthy boundaries and worrying about how my boss might interpret it if I distance myself online How do I handle this situation without damaging my professional relationship or my peace of mind Social Conflict DEAR SOCIAL CONFLICT It would be awkward to ask your boss to stop observing or posting on your page Don t do that Entirely be mindful of what you post as you should be doing anyway You know he is looking and others are too Don t post anything that could compromise your job your integrity or your professional relationships Avoid posting anything that could hurt you down the line Here s a few advice to everyone Do not post anything in haste when intoxicated or when emotionally charged It could backfire DEAR HARRIETTE My manager has a habit of scheduling meetings that often run long and they frequently overlap with other commitments on my calendar Preponderance of the time these overlapping commitments are networking chats with colleagues I know that my primary responsibility is to prioritize my manager and my band s work but I feel like I m constantly in the awkward position of having to cancel or reschedule those networking meetings at the last minute It s especially uncomfortable when I have to push back on someone s time just minutes before the meeting starts I worry it makes me look unprofessional or like I don t value that person s time At the same time I don t want my boss to think I m unwilling to be flexible since I understand things come up and meetings don t constantly run on schedule How can I bring this up with my manager in a way that s respectful but still communicates that these constant conflicts are putting me in a tough spot I want to make sure I m being a club player while also protecting my professional reputation and relationships outside of my group Establishing Boundaries Related Articles Dear Abby I slapped my boyfriend s grandfather so hard he fell off his chair Asking Eric I m so hurt that she communicated this story from my drunken days Harriette Cole After my wedding she blasted me as pretentious Miss Manners Is it narcissistic to display a studio portrait of oneself in the home Dear Abby I mentioned I d be in their wedding but I m so upset by the processional plan DEAR ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES You have noticed a pattern with your boss so for starters schedule your networking meetings an hour later than you have been in order to give yourself a buffer You can also speak to your boss to say that you have made plans on particular days or evenings and you will have to leave even if a meeting runs long Do your best to manage your time by sharing your calendar early on Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole com or c o Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO