Miss Manners: Where should I look when I follow a woman up the stairs?

DEAR MISS MANNERS Too often for my comfort I find myself at the bottom of a staircase escorting a woman upstairs Related Articles Miss Manners Should I threat insulting my neighbor by being blunt about her dog Miss Manners Strangers want to take our photo and they re bugged when I say no Miss Manners She contaminated the soup and then got petulant with me Miss Manners The frustrating tennis tournament is a dark cloud in my life Miss Manners The secret about my new house got out and now things are awkward at work My instinct is to let the woman go first but the unfortunate effect is that when I follow her up the stairs my eyes are at the level of her bottom The situation is even more complicated if short skirts are part of the equation The resolution of my going up the stairs first means that the woman is then left at eye-level with my buttocks which my wife kindly assures me is not a hardship possibly making them uncomfortable To avoid or at least minimize any discomfort who should proceed up the stairs first GENTLE READER The correct procedure is that the lady goes up the stairs first and a gentleman keeps his salacious thoughts to himself Should you go first however Miss Manners unlike your wife believes that you would be in no danger of exciting the lady behind you DEAR MISS MANNERS I received an invitation to a th birthday celebration While it s lovely to be included at such a momentous occasion I was a bit taken aback at the wording of the invitation After announcing the day and time it read that no alcohol would be permitted I understand that Jenny may not want a bunch of drunks carousing on her special day Nevertheless I thought the wording strange and even a bit unwelcoming The invitation also informed No gifts please again fine because what would -year-old Jenny do with them but after that it noted There will be a box for cards and cash How would Miss Manners view such an invitation GENTLE READER Such an unpleasant invitation There is no need to serve alcohol but there is also no need to issue a warning as if the guests were likely to smuggle it in And forbidding presents while putting out a cash box makes it clear that admission is being charged Ordinarily Miss Manners would advise you to treat this like the charity fundraiser it is that is to accept only if you consider it a charity you want to backing But considering Jenny s age someone else might have crafted this event and the invitation on her behalf You might want to avoid such a person and instead pay a separate visit to Jenny to acknowledge her birthday DEAR MISS MANNERS I know this is going to sound nitpicky but I get very slightly offended when I say Thank you to a server and they say Of curriculum It just feels weird like a brush-off It feels like they re saying Of program you are grateful This seems to be a new standard response especially among young servers Sometimes they even seem surprised by my gratitude Related Articles Dear Abby While I was recuperating my husband moved out of our house Asking Eric Should I warn her she s at threat of being banned from the supermarket Dear Abby After the split my son-in-law sent me this email Asking Eric My co-workers are blackmailing the boss and it s a mess for all of us Harriette Cole I keep replaying this distressing moment from my wedding I admit that I tend to be overly polite yes that is a thing but I really am grateful when people help me serve me and I want them to know I appreciate them What ever happened to You re welcome or even a casual You bet GENTLE READER That nit is already over-picked by people who are offended by the response of No trouble Miss Manners suggests that you think of Of module as short for Of curriculum I am honored to serve you Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website www missmanners com to her email gentlereader missmanners com or through postal mail to Miss Manners Andrews McMeel Syndication Walnut St Kansas City MO